Gratitude: It's Not Just for Thanksgiving

 Big Tent Family,

As we head into Thanksgiving here in the US, we just want to pause and say a very real, very simple “thank you.”

Whether you’ve been with us since the beginning or only recently found your way into the Big Tent, your presence, your work in the world, and your willingness to keep showing up for men and boys is what makes this community thrive.

We don’t take that lightly. From our hearts to yours, we’re grateful to be in this movement with you, building something that none of us could create alone.

— Chris, Tim & George

 “Gratitude: It's Not Just for Thanksgiving”

Holidays can bring a strange mix of feelings for a lot of men. On one hand, gratitude, family, warmth. On the other, pressure, “difficult relatives”, and the urge to quietly disappear into the kitchen and “help with dishes” for three hours. 

In addition, gratitude is not as simple as “just notice what you’re thankful for.” Men in particular are trained to scan for problems and threats, not blessings, so slowing down to appreciate what’s good can actually feel unsafe or naive.

And to genuinely feel thankful usually means admitting we needed help or support, which many of us were taught is a sign of weakness. 

As leaders, we don't have to wait for a holiday to offer something different.

A few simple gratitude rituals can open things up without forcing anyone into a big emotional performance. Here are three that work well in men’s circles, groups, retreats, or online gatherings.

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“One Specific Thank You” Round

Gratitude is more powerful when it’s specific.

• Invite each person to share one very specific “thank you” from the past year.
• It can be for a person in the room, someone not present, or even a mentor they have never met.
• Prompt: “I’m grateful for ___ because they ___ and it helped me to ___.”

This steers men away from the generic “I’m grateful for my family.”  Actually naming the impact someone had on you is a great way to anchor it. 

The Appreciation “Love Seat"

This one is simple (but not always easy) and can have a profound effect on the receiver's nervous system.

• Choose one person at a time for the “love seat” (instead of hot seat). 
• For 2 minutes, others speak directly to the receiver: what they appreciate, respect, or have noticed about how they show up. Again, being specific is key here.
• The person in the hot seat only practices one thing: receiving. No deflecting, no minimizing, just “thank you.”

Men are usually better at giving than receiving. This ritual helps them practice letting good things land, which can quietly change how they show up with partners, kids, teams, and clients.

Future Thanks “ One Year From Now”

Gratitude is not only about the past. It can also orient men toward the future they want to build.

• Have each person to imagine it is one year from now.
• Prompt: “It is next Thanksgiving, and I am grateful that I… ”
• Everyone completes the sentence out loud, naming one change, risk, boundary, or act of courage they are grateful to themselves for taking.

This ties appreciation to the creator mindset. The participants will feel less like passengers in their lives and more like authors.

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You can try any of these with a client, a group, or in your family. Small, consistent practices like these help us feel seen, and remember what is already good in our lives, even in the middle of hard times.

Please share with the community what effective gratitude practices you use! 

• Registration for the Big Tent Summit 2026 is NOW OPEN!  Here is the link to learn more about our two ticket levels and to register: 
  REGISTER HERE
  -- We have a special discount for you as one of our Founders of the Big Tent in its first year in 2025. Use this coupon code at checkout to save an ADDITIONAL $100 off the Early Bird ticket:  BTSFOUNDERS   
  -- Also, please watch the 4-minute video we created for this year’s summit at the top of the page. Many of you are in it! 

• NEW TIME: Our next Networking and Connection call is Thursday, December 4th, 11am Pacific / 2pm Eastern. Thanks to those of you who participated in the time slot poll!  Grab the Zoom link and add to your calendar HERE
  
  
• Our next Guest Speaker call is Thursday, December 18th, 1pm Pacific / 3pm Eastern. Our special guests will be Tony Porter & Ted Bunch, co-founders, A Call to Men giving us an update on the State of Masculinity 2025 initiative. Grab the Zoom link and add to your calendar HERE

CONGRATULATIONS to our very own New York City-based Executive Coach, Facilitator, and Men's Work Leader Jake Fishbein, who just finished up their 8th annual Arena Founders Group Fall Retreat. 

Fourteen men, aged 25-76, from 10 different states gathered in Pennsylvania to do a deep dive into honesty, father wounds, play, and Feedforward. Coming up in May 2026, 45+ men from their three men's groups will convene for the next Arena Gathering.

In addition to his work as a coach, Jake is an accomplished writer. He is currently preparing to publish his first novel -- a story about a fictional men’s coaching group --  he's been working on with biz partner "Coach Nick" Papadopoulos. 

“The more you practice the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for.”
— Norman Vincent Peale

"Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude."
— A.A. Milne